when enough is still not enough

How do I bring children into this world? How do I protect them from guns and predators? Or raise them to be kind, honest, and gentle?

Schools are supposed to be safe. But it feels like every other day someone is entering a campus with an assault rifle.

Bosses should be mentors and advocates. But I keep reading about manipulative, sexual abusers.

Is it the news or is it really the world? Some of it has been here all along, surviving just below a surface that has only recently been scratched.

How do we protect them? How do we protect each other?

I’ve been reading less news since Pulse in Orlando. I have to be able to live — & not in constant fear. But I couldn’t, still can’t, stop reading about Parkland. I wonder if students everywhere are scared every day. Or maybe some of them are still young and innocent enough that they can skate right on by.

I want to be a better human. I want to leave behind a better world than when I left it. But things are not moving in that direction. Is it a disservice to procreate and bring unsuspecting life to this place?

Before, I was hesitating for selfish reasons, for me. Now I’m hesitating for them.

The parents who lose children, who learn their child was a victim of abuse, who unknowingly raise abusers…. how do those parents continue to move through their days?

Perhaps it becomes easier to ignore or make excuses or bury deep inside. Only see what you want to. Paint a truth that isn’t real.

I’m thankful for the kids who feel empowered to use their voice. And I am in awe of them. And ashamed of the teenage version of me who didn’t believe she could say no, didn’t understand right from wrong, didn’t value friendships over sex.

I’ve wanted to write for the past few weeks. But there’s just a lot of shit out there right now. Also, this sinus infection… and antibiotics. And no wine.


P.S. I’m attending a Moms Demand Action meeting next weekend. You can too.

off of my writing playlist. too good not to share.


and a second. because i’ve been listening on repeat.


1 thought on “when enough is still not enough

  1. My sweet Andy was only 3 weeks old on 9/11. I had all of those questions flooding my mind too. Every day I send him off to school I pray he will be safe. Teach him to be kind and protect others. God’s got my kid covered.


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