A few days ago I saw that the local community theatre was holding auditions for their 2018 season. I guess I had a sudden wave of bravery because I got my hands on the play, memorized the selected monologue and showed up to auditions on Saturday morning.
You should know I’ve only auditioned for a play twice before this. I’m 1 for 2 but to be fair, I had 4 lines and the director specifically asked me to audition because he wanted me to add some choreography (yes, it was strange). When I went into the audition I came very close (and I mean incredibly close) to walking out when I realized that we would all be auditioning in front of each other. Peer judgment is probably one of my biggest fears.
After the audition and about 10 minutes before setting off on a 2-hour horseback trail ride, I was stung by a bee. I had just days ago told Steph that I had not been stung by a bee since I was a kid. And I also just recently learned that one of our students was out on a camping/hiking trek when she was stung by a bee and required the use of an Epi-pen. She was later taken to a doctor who informed her that she’s not just allergic, she’s hella allergic, as in if she gets stung again she will die. So I spent the first hour on that horse reassuring myself that my difficulty breathing was due to my anxiety and not my anaphylaxis. I then decided that I am no longer allowed to do activities in the woods without Xanax.
Then last night I saw a notice on Facebook that a second round of auditions was added for the show I was interested in which I think just means that everyone sucked and they were so disappointed with the talent that they have to try again and that bee sting was probably my first indication of bad news. I did try using my southern accent that is usually reserved for when I read Fried Green Tomatoes out loud to Steph before bed. She typically falls asleep before I even finish the first paragraph so maybe that should have been an indication too.
Maybe I go in disguise and try again? Pretend I’m a male and then see if I get cast (everyone is hashtagging #metoo so that’s where my brain is at–sue me).
obviously it’s going to be gay…