I decided to take a mini vacation from writing. Last weekend Steph and I went camping and hiking with some friends and I had another panic attack and found myself vomiting in the woods at 2am. I like writing about anxiety because if even just one person feels less alone, then I feel like I have accomplished a lot with my life already. But I also hate writing about anxiety, because this new panic-stricken version of myself doesn’t feel like me. Anxiety does this thing to me that I think it does to a lot of people: it tricks me. It makes me believe that I am less of a person, that I’m broken, it makes me disappointed in myself all the time. And I don’t like thinking that way, especially because when I’m not being lured into the lies, I think I’m a pretty cool person.
But I’m taking steps. August 1 is my psychiatry appointment where I hope to get a big ole prescription of xanax (or something stronger, I haven’t been on the drug circuit in a while). And the following week I start a nine-month Anxiety Support Group. I also plan to start working some hours at the barn so I can afford to pickup more riding lessons (because being on a horse is therapeutic as fuck–and still cheaper than therapy sessions).
So good things are coming, I know they are! And one great thing has already happened. Are you ready for it?
I CAN SHARE THE MOVIE!!! And guess what else! I can tell you that it’s an award-winning movie! Fuckin’ fuck yeah!
Best Use of Character – Nominated
Best Use of Prop – Winner
Best Script – Winner
Best Sound Design – Nominated
And to give you a bit more background, the three required elements for each group:
Prop: A chair
Character: Paul or Paula Wilhelm “Hypochondriac”
Line: “I’m waiting” or “I am waiting”
NOW WATCH IT
Wasn’t that great?! Could you tell which one was me?? Oh, that tiny baby chair! And did you spot Stephanie’s cameo??
I had so much fun doing this and Micah did such a great job making all of it happen. Couldn’t be more proud of how it turned out!
See you on the shore, you gooey s’more.
No song today because movie…duh