I have a note on my phone with a running list of ideas to blog about. Sometimes I go back and read this list and wonder, “why did I think this would be a good idea to talk about?” This post is one of those particular ideas that now does not make a whole lot of sense to me.
It all started at the Grove Park Inn. I was feeling particularly lazy and decided that getting up to throw my contacts away (because I wear dailies) required too much effort. [And actually, I’m going to interrupt myself here because “particularly lazy” is not an accurate description as this is what happens most every single night.] So I did what any normal person does and pulled them out of my eyeballs and left them on the table. I have been told before that this is a filthy practice, but I honest to baby jesus am incapable of seeing the disgusting qualities of this habit.
Normally when I leave my second eyes around, it’s most often on a wooden or plastic top of sorts. Well the ever-fancy GPI (Grove Park Inn, obvi) happens to have glass-top side tables. I guess I’ve never disposed of my contacts onto glass before? Normally they retain their shape, shrink a tad, and are removed quite easily from the surface. Occasionally they will flatten and I have to unstick them, but still relatively easy because they just pop right off. Glass, however, is another story. These bad boys stuck so hard I had to literally scrape them off. Little bits were left behind and I thought for sure I was going to get an itemized bill for my leftovers. What would that even say?
“$150 for new glass top to replace the one sullied by your disgusting eyeball juice”
…They probably wouldn’t say eyeball juice