Thursday Thoughts #5 – Training Bras for Adults

You know how companies have the ability to target consumers on Facebook and Instagram based on one’s search history? There is a specific name for this practice, but I’m too lazy and also I don’t care enough to look it up. If you didn’t already know this, well surprise! The man knows everything. Who is the man and why does he care that I just purchased three bottles of holiday scented poo-pouri from Amazon? I have no idea. But I imagine he lives in his mother’s basement, has zero friends and is no less than 38.

I do very little online shopping for clothing. Like next to none. Which is what makes my most recent string of targeted advertising very confusing. Bras. The world of social media wants to know if perhaps I need a new bra. But not just any bra! Nooooo. A push-up bra! A push-up bra that will “take me up an entire cup size.” I mentioned this to Stephanie and she said she has not once seen one of these ads. Which makes me wonder…

How the hell does the internet know that I have the chest of a prepubescent preteen?!? Jokes on them though. You can’t take boobs up a cup size when you don’t have enough to even fill out an A. Or possibly even a AA if that were real. Creepy dude is sitting in his basement having wet dreams about chubby girls with titties so small it looks like an overweight boy’s “man-boobs.” Honestly, I regret that sentence a little, but not enough to delete it. I really like the imagery it paints. And I was originally a poet…


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