On Tuesday a bill was filed to ban same-sex marriage and ultimately render illegitimate any existing same-sex marriages in the state of North Carolina. Luckily, this bill was considered DOA and will not be heard.
But that doesn’t mean I didn’t sob when I first read about it.
The fact that Stephanie and I only just recently uprooted ourselves to start a new, married life together in this state…the knowledge that there are people nearby who want to see us stripped of our equality…. it broke my heart. And left me feeling terribly depressed. I stayed up late that night and drank a bottle’s worth of wine. I slept horribly. And then I went into work an hour late the next morning because I couldn’t pull myself out of bed. I cried openly in my office.
I’ve noticed that I make a point, especially here in Western North Carolina, to mention that I have a wife (when relevant to the conversation–I don’t go about telling random strangers walking down the street, “Hey! I’m married! To a lady!” Although, that’s not to say I wouldn’t…). Today for example, while getting coffee at a small bakery, the girl behind the cash register complimented my necklace and asked what kind of stone it was. I told her I didn’t know, that it was a gift from my wife.
I do this to normalize same-sex relationships. To express to someone needing help that I can be an ally. To give the confidence to be who you are. To show that gay people are everywhere–even in small, mountain towns. I hope doing this helps even just one person.