It used to be that I had too much to say and streamlining my thoughts into one coherent post was difficult. Now I find that I have the opposite problem. Steph and I are in this place now where the actual planning of the wedding is few and far between. Honestly, I don’t know if it’s because we were so proactive early on and got ahead of the game, or if there’s a bunch of shit we should be doing but aren’t. I’m terribly worried it’s the latter. I think about booking our tent and table rental and then I think I should go over everything with Steph. But when we’re at home together it’s sort of like a couple of baby kittens I realize that’s redundant but whatever it sounds cuter): we’re very excited to see each other and cuddle. And that’s it. So stuff doesn’t really get done…I wonder occasionally if straight couples don’t run into this problem as much because the wife (singular) plans most of the party on her own. I don’t mean for that to be sexist, it’s just that I’ve often found that most men don’t really care about what’s involved. So long as people he wants are invited and the booze is plenty, he’s happy. Who cares if one of the bridesmaids is dressed in seafoam green instead of mint green. Also what the fuck is seafoam green. I have never seen foam on the sea the color of seafoam green.
As it turns out, I do feel a bit similar to the men. I have dreamed about this day for so long but when you have very little money, suddenly decorations don’t seem important anymore. I’ve also fallen into this, “everything will be fine” la-la land. Don’t get me wrong, I do think it’s important for brides not to stress so hard about the big day, but I should probably be stressing just a teensy bit more. For example, we don’t have a wedding planner/coordinator because we’re not millionaires. But the more we plan and the closer we get, the more I realize that I think we have to have one. Because food is going to be dropped off before the reception. And the DJ is going to show up. And something will go missing. And you know what? Steph nor I will be able to handle it. Nor will our bridesmaids. And those are things I keep forgetting. Every time I envision some awful scenario, I think to myself, “oh I can handle that.” My guess is that in the next couple of months I’ll wake up from this daydream and figure out that no, I in fact cannot handle it because I will be too busy ugly crying at the sight of my beautiful wife to be able to pull my shit together and problem solve.
So I’m not ordering the rentals yet, but I’m not too worried about that. I order tables for our events at work a week before the event and they never seem bothered by it…I should, however, be working on the DJ. And to be fair, I am, I have four prospects. But for me, music is the most important part. I wouldn’t mind telling everyone to bring a bagged lunch and a flower for the centerpieces but the music has to be perfect. Which means I am unable to commit to one person. I want to invite them all to a party and have them do a DJ off and then the winner gets to work our party and be best friends with me. Win-win-win. But I don’t think that will happen so I have to make a blind decision. I know I keep saying “I” but I think Steph is letting me do this one on my own. She knows how important music is to me. And how pissed I will be if this dude/ette sucks and no one dances. Plus she’s got decorations. I told her that’s all her. I’m only here to veto when the bill gets too big.
Speaking of, I found a DJ in the Charlotte area that I was realllyyyy excited about. Which is almost never good news. Getting excited about a vendor almost definitely means we cannot afford them. I was right. He emailed the base price and I responded with a regretful decline. Of course the SOB had to follow up and ask my budget. His response? “Wow. Yea. We could never go that low. Good luck on your search.” …. Wow?! Well fuck you too, buddy. I bet I would be a brilliant DJ with an incredibly modest fee. I had another DJ run-in. One that I ranted about for quite some time before Steph said, “you’re going to put this in the blog, aren’t you?” Hell yes I’m going to put it in the blog! So what had happened was: I joined this site called GigMasters and posted a request with our date and times and a little description that read something like: I want to focus mostly on Top 40 style music. I want to be sure everyone is dancing. Music is very important to me and I have a list of songs that I would love to play or at least give inspiration for a playlist. Well this guy declined to give me a quote. Said any time a bride requests only Top 40 the wedding is a huge disaster. It leads to rap music and once that happens, people leave. There needs to be a mix of music from the 70’s on. All of this is good and fine except that I never said I only want Top 40s. Of course I want a mix of songs. But I don’t need music from the 70’s. And probably only one or two 80’s. Whitney Houston, obviously, but I Wanna Dance With Somebody is bordering on the 90s. Also, I absolutely want some sort of mashup of these alleged rap songs. Usher’s Yeah. Terror Squad’s Lean Back. Or the ever classic, Get Low by Lil Jon (something I will almost definitely be doing, even in my wedding dress). Basically every song that played at the 8th grade dances hosted by my future high school that were considered “grinding”tunes. I will admit, I do feel weird typing that, but I stand by the sentiment. Know your crowd, right? I know my crowd. I also know that Katy Perry’s I Kissed a Girl and The Electric Slide must be played. And another thing, if people are leaving our wedding because a rap song came on (most likely an edited version as well), then what the heck were they doing there in the first place? Honestly, music is so important to me that I’ve thought about creating a mini Spotify playlist to accompany each of these posts but I figure you’ll only listen if it’s actually linked here and uh, I don’t know how to do that. Buzzfeed does though. And for that, I am insanely jealous.
I am now off to listen to Check on It. I don’t need to tell you who that’s by, right? …it’s Beyonce. It’s obviously Beyonce.
Take care, gummy bear
(I’m going to run out of these so soon, I’ve really over committed myself here)
P.s. I got my pin. AND Steph got a t-shirt. It’s rainbow and says “Homo Estas?” Clever, yea? And oh so gay. Olivia at Chipotle is my new favorite. And as promised, said pin will be worn at the wedding.