So I’ve had some wine. A few glasses really. Ok..a bottle or so. But it was a rough day and I’m ready for Steph to play Just Dance with me. And you know she’s not gonna do that sober. We bought a bottle of Barefoot on sale the other day and then opened a bottle we bought during our anniversary trip last year. It’s a mulled wine. You know, the kind you drink warm? It’s fucking 64 degrees out but we’re over here getting all toasty. Double meanings implied.
Now we’re watching How to Get Away With Murder. Viola Davis is a goddess. Oh a Selena Gomez commercial is on the tv now. She’s a babe. Pull up YouTube or Spotify right now and listen to Hands to Yourself. Why? Because it’s fun and it’s Selena and you don’t need a fucking reason.
Ah!!! Our Save the Dates went out! Steph has been abbreviating these as StD but it dawned on her recently that this may not be the best abbreviation. I like it though. Once we think everyone has received theirs I’ll post pictures because oh man these things are dope. My Lord Chamberlain and Maid Of Honour did an amazing job, they’re both such incredibly talented people. I love them both but also kind of hate them because why do they have so much talent? I danced for the majority of my life and I was good but definitely not great. I was on a summer swim league for most of my life and I was better than people that weren’t on swim teams. And I’ve been writing since 6th grade and sometimes I’m funny and sometimes I’m poetic. But those two are consistently talented and good at their shit. Share with the rest of us! Damn. This is not being me being self deprecating though. I think I’m a great writer. I mean, obviously, I’m writing a fucking blog. That and I’m a Leo and every once in a while we like to show off…or so I hear. I told Steph the other day though that it surprises me that people read this thing. Like, I’m not really surprised that she reads it or family reads it or my best friends but yea the other people surprise me. She said she’s not surprised at all. She gave me this great analogy actually:
[Your blog] is like if your ex best friend from high school openly shared all their dirty secrets but you didn’t have to talk to them or comfort them about any of it. Like, you want to know about their life still because you’re nosy but you don’t want to have bother reaching out to them.
This isn’t verbatim what she said… I took some liberties. But I love being everyone’s ex best friend. You’re welcome.
I curse a lot more when I’ve been drinking. I mean, I curse a lot already. Last night in therapy I said the c word and gave no fucks. Steph finds this word to be incredibly offensive as most women and feminists do and I totally should but I actually love saying it. There’s no other word that sounds like it! That’s probably a terrible reason to use such a vulgar word….my bad.
Just pulled the wine out of the slow cooker. It’s exceptionally hot. I don’t like waiting for my wine. It should just be ready as soon as I want it. That’s the millennial mentality though isn’t it? Or so they tell me… [man. I wish you guys could see these sentences before I spell check them]. I think it tastes extra boozy when it’s hot. Speaking of, the Wine + Food Festival is this weekend. That’s something I’m excited to write about. And also do.
We’re dancing now.
We played a couple rounds of Just Dance and a few of the Hip Hop, so Amanda, I think we like Hip Hop best. And in case you don’t know what I’m referring to, Steph and I have a Wii and are playing dance games. Ok usually I play dance games on my own but tonight I got Steph to play! And when I went to take a shower and shave my legs for the first time in a month and a half (this is not an exaggeration. My fiancée loves it (that is an exaggeration and by exaggeration I mean false)) she even played by herself! Honestly, this game is just another excuse for me to booty pop all over our kitchen and living room. If my work ever produced a play (I work for a theatre p.s.) where they needed an ensemble of girls to twerk, I would totally audition for that shit. And let me tell you, I would absolutely get cast.
We opened another bottles. Yea. That plural wasn’t a typo. Honestly, this fit challenge is going well. We’re not supposed to drink quite as much as we did tonight but Steph and I really don’t drink that much in general…although my recent posts seem to suggest otherwise. Oh and in case you were wondering about that treat? I had a big, fat slice of the most delicious cake. So delicious it will be featured at our wedding. Harris Teeter fudge cake for dayzzzzzz yo. Guaranteed, whenever we put a bun in my oven, I will request that cake every day during my third trimester. I’m making the bet now. Someone please hold me to it.
I have no idea what this post is about but it made me happy to write.
Thanks a lot, tater tot!
(this rhyming food signature thing might be sticking. Forgive me)
Sober update: I only had to make 3 corrections! Boom.