First thought for the day: I think this blog would be brilliant if you could hear me speaking it. I desperately want to be published one day (so desperate I’m doing very little to make that goal happen) but I say skip the text and head straight to the audio book. I mean who even reads these days? So with that in mind, please do your best to read this with my voice. It sounds better that way, I promise.
Second thought: I curse. A lot. I was probably a sailor in a past life and I have no desire to tone it down for the interweb. So suck it up and read my occasionally offensive, always uncensored writing.
Third thought: How does anyone focus their brain enough to make coherent thoughts?! I don’t understand. Steph read my blog post and I asked her what she thought of it and she responded with, “I’m interested in what all you have to say about stuff.” Honestly, I am also interested, because I have a lot to say but no clue how to get it out. I think that’s why I gave each post the title of the day in hopes that I can narrow it down that way…we’ll see how that actually goes.
Ok. Moving right along! I spent probably way too much of my time yesterday researching DIY projects to save us money for this party. [Let me back up a bit and mention that we have made a rough budget for everything. About a week after creating this over-budget budget, it dawned on me that I set aside no money for the rehearsal dinner. So you’re welcome bridesmaids, dinner is on you.] We agree that food and photography are important and also costly. Because this wedding will be outside it needs a rain plan. And because there was a flood of the century during our engagement, I can only assume there will be a tornado at the ceremony. I have now decided that I am going to build our dance floor from 2x3s and plywood and our tent from PVC pipes and tarp. I mentioned this to my coworkers who, in the nicest way possible, told me that this is the worst fucking idea I’ve ever had. Honestly they’re probably right. But I could be saving us a few hundred dollars here. Yea, so maybe 20 of the guests won’t fit under the tent and they get a little wet, but it’s survival of the fittest. You wanna stay dry? You gotta fight for it. Or bring an umbrella just in case. I also bounced these ideas off my father (in hopes that he would offer to build all of these things for me) and he said, “I think there are places where you can rent tents and stuff. You should look that up.” I wish you knew my father. Because if you did you would understand that he was not being an ass, he was being sincere. He was genuinely not positive about any sort of rental business but figured something like that should exist and suggested I look into it to save me the hassle of cutting off any limbs. I should blame this newfound sense of D
IY on him though: he gave me a hacksaw for Christmas. I assume if you’re reading this that you know me, even just a little. Well what the hell is my father thinking buying me a hacksaw?! I went to an oyster roast and cut my finger on the shell and needed surgery. FROM AN OYSTER SHELL. (Seriously though, that shit’s dangerous. Wear a glove.) So now I have a hacksaw and I read that Home Depot will cut the wood for you and I really think I can build this stuff in the parking lot of our apartment complex. I once built a wine bottle rack for a theatre class when I was at school in Colorado. It held two wine bottles (which is an absurd plan. why only two?) and it was sanded down and very pretty. And then the piece of shit fell on the floor while it was drying and broke. So after turning it in and receiving a C, I threw that hunk of junk at the dumpster. And then in the dumpster. Basically what I’m trying to say is that I think this will all go over incredibly well and I can tell that Steph is so excited for me to ruin our wedding.